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4 Things Your Wife Will Kill You For Buying

Posted August 4th, 2010
by Staff

There are some things that we guys like to buy that absolutely drive women crazy. And, no, I don’t mean the “I’m gonna get some tonight” kind of crazy. This kind of crazy is more like, “Where in the hell did I find this devil woman and why did I marry her?” Unfortunately, these things that could quite possibly drive your otherwise lovely wife to homicide are amongst our very favorite things to buy. And they get especially mad if you take out personal loans to buy them.

The items that cause our other halves such consternation, such unbridled rage tend to be the objects of our greatest affection: items related to our hobbies, our toys. And, guys, this is ground that must be defended, regardless of how crazy our wives get.

We have an adult friend (and by adult, we don’t mean 19 years old, but closer to 40) who actually spent $75 on (get this) a large plastic Dungeons and Dragons figurine of some kind of a devil. Now that’s being loyal to your hobby, folks. We’re not sure if his wife wanted to kill him more for buying it, or for displaying it prominently where company would see it. At least he didn’t need to take out personal loans to buy it, though.

Here are the top 4 things men we know have bought with personal loans that drove their wives to the brink of murder:

  • A Red Pontiac Firebird sports car. This might not have been so bad except that it didn’t run, the guy had absolutely no mechanical ability, and he actually needed a car. Granted, it was only $900, a minor detail that did not seem to quell her wrath.
  • Golf clubs. OK, again, not such an unusual purchase, except the guy didn’t play golf. And didn’t end up starting like he said he was going to. Maybe it was because his wife scared him out of it.
  • A beer bash. Don’t get me wrong, I doubt the guy wrote that down as what he wanted the loan for. In any case, the bash lasted four hours, the loan took four months to pay off, and four years later, he’s still hearing about it.
  • Jewelry. This guy might have gotten away with it, if he had given her the jewelry for Christmas. She might have even been driven the other kind of crazy (remember, the “I’m gonna get some kind”). The fact that she found the loan paperwork and didn’t end up getting anything shiny under the tree? Let’s just leave at this: it wasn’t pretty.

So, if you’re thinking about buying something that you know might drive your wife crazy, wait until you can pay cash. After all, no one wants to see your wife on America’s Most Wanted.

Categories: Advice, Fun



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